– Note: This blog was still in draft at the time of Gurumarka’s passing so previously unpublished –
The artist and the shakti woman
Lenndy, talented artist
Helped awaken part of my spiritual depth
Powerful woman
Steady and divine
We were almost a family
Learned to reduce, not need too much
Introduced me to other spiritual traditions and healers
Servando- sweat lodge
Gabriele Roth
Hermatige – lama
Sierra club – hiking in the Grand Canyon
ITMI together. Loved it. Gained insight into being a better teacher
Her dog Charlie
Briefly engaged.
Planted great vegetable garden where in middle of a lighting storm i stood in the rain and screamed at god, “I want this woman or let lighting strike me.” It seems yelling at god is not the way things get done.
I was not mature or steady enough to be a good partner in the relationship. If I was a cake in the oven, I needed more cooking. (Transformation)
In desperate moment of stupidity after she said to leave her alone, I sat outside her work place waiting for her to leave for home at the end of day. Although I was more than 50 meters away, she spotted (sensed) me and walked across the field and got directly in front of me. She was not afraid of confrontation. She asked me what I was doing there. I said something about wanting to speak with her. She asked what it it? She was neutral and loving in the way she used the words and the tone of her voice. I found this encouraging. I said, “I love you.” Her reply broke open the entire universe and eventually put it back together again. Just in a different arrangement. “If you love me, let me go.” It was done. Final. No intelligent response was possible. As I stood there open and raw and unable to deny the truth of her statement, she quietly and gracefully walked away. I sat down trying to compose myself, but felt my inner world crashing. I stood up crying and walking towards the sidewalk, when a car pulls up next to me and a voice says “get in”. As I looked at the voice discovered my tuned in loving friend Rory driving an very old car with had the seats go all the way across with no break between them. Rory was a healer and extremely intuitive and gentle man. He drove down the road while I began to slowly quiet down. He mentioned there was a book on the back seat I might find useful. I reached back bringing it into my lap. The title was A book of love? . I borrowed it, read it, then got my own copy. I then thanked everyone involved. Lenndy, Rory, the author and all those wonderful healing words she shared with the world.
Every relationship naturally has some ups and downs. I can remember the low moments with Lenndy, but the times of uplifting were vast, a whole universe of amazing gifts that we shared. The human side of me does sometimes think, what if? It is a stupid question that has no value except to distract me from what is right in front of me in this moment. The memory of the many gifts she gave me were real. In a way, they no longer exist, except in memory. What does remain are the lessons learned, the understanding revealed and the awareness gained. For all this, I am most grateful to the artist who was a powerful shakti woman. (Shakti is the creative power of the universe. By her nature a woman is a shakti. A powerful shakti woman is one who seems to have a grasp of her power and it not afraid to use that power in the world)